Forbidden Hogwarts
by StephenKingJunkie
Summary: What do you get when you mix Hogwarts selling out, the musical world, and almost every possibility becoming a probability? 'Forbidden Hogwarts! Rated Teen for language and song lyrics.
1. The Sparkling Diamond

Diana stood on stage, waiting for her turn to start singing. A production of 'Moulin Rouge', and she was playing Satine. She could hardly believe that her big break was finally happening. She sat on the swing, waiting to be lowered from the ceiling - and slowly, she was lowered.

She adjusted the silver top hat and sang,

"The French are glad to die for love,

They delight in fighting duels,

But I prefer a man who lives

And give expensive jewels-"

She then woke up, disappointed that the dream had to end early. She woke up to find herself on the couch of the Hufflepuff common room, around 6 in the evening. Diana sat up, and Cedric Diggory (her best friend) jumped up from behind the couch and yelled, "About time you woke up, Sleeping Beauty!"

"You shook me to wake me up and then hid behind the couch, didn't you?"

"Mmm-hmm."

Diana rubbed her forehead. "Well thank you, you butt - you interrupted a good dream."

"Sorry... what was it this time?"

"What is it all the time?"

"The 'Moulin Rouge' dream?"

"Yep."

Cedric nodded slowly. "Maybe your subconscious is trying to tell you something."

"Like what?"

"Like... randomly burst out in song?" Cedric suggested with a grin on his face. "Well, we better go - wouldn't want to be late for dinner."

Cedric and Diana sat at the Hufflepuff table, talking about just about anything (and Diana was also reading), when suddenly, Diana felt something snap against her back, and then her cloak felt wet. She turned around, and realized that Draco Malfoy had thrown a water balloon at her. She narrowed her eyes - it wasn't the first time.

Cedric had seen it happen. He stood up and yelled to Draco, "Malfoy, I swear to God, if you do that just ONE more time -"

Draco laughed, "What? You'll sic a bunch of Bludgers on me? I'm really scared, Dig-Dug!" Cedric grimaced - he hated it when people called him that. Anything to keep Diana from getting bullied, though. He felt something brush his left hand, which was on the table - he looked down, and saw that Diana was holding his hand.

Diana said, "I'm not upset about it - just don't say anything else, please. Otherwise, Draco'll sic a bunch of Bludgers on YOU."

Cedric sighed and sat down. "Diana, how do you deal with it, honestly?"

"Deal with what?" Cedric noticed with some amusement that Diana was reading the script of 'The Phantom of the Opera', which she had re-read about 500 times.

"Deal with... I'm not exactly sure. But it seems to me that you should've snapped long ago."

"Don't think I can't. One of these days, I'm just going to go around the school with a sawed-off shotgun or something," Diana said with a joking look in her eyes.

"Better not let Umbridge hear you saying that."

"She'd know I was joking." Diana went back to reading the script.

After about a minute, Cedric said, "You must be really obsessed with 'Phantom'."

"You couldn't tell that already?" Diana cleared her throat. "_Think of me, think of me fondly -_"

"Don't."

Just then, Draco said (half-sarcastic half-serious), "That was good, Diana - why don't you sing something else?"

Diana raised an eyebrow and said, "I will - if everyone else at your godforsaken table wants me to."

The Slytherins murmured a whisper of agreement (almost all of it sarcastic, but then, Diana never had a head for sarcasm), and Draco said, "You heard them."

Cedric whispered, "Diana, they're just -"

Diana muttered, "Look, I've never been one to not do something that's actually do-able. I'll sing." Diana thought, "It's about time I got a chance to sing 'Diamonds'."

She stood up on the table, straightened her skirt and pushed up her glasses. Everyone fell silent.

Diana cleared her throat and sang,

"The French are glad to die for love,

They delight in fighting duels,

But I prefer a man who lives

And gives expensive jewels..."

Just then, for some reason, the music for 'Diamonds' started playing in the Great Hall. Diana paid it no mind though.

She sang,

"A kiss on the hand

May be quite continental,

But diamonds are a girl's best friend...

A kiss may be grand

But it won't pay the rental

On your humble flat

Or help you at the automat...

Men grow cold

As girls grow old,

And we all lose our charms in the end...

But square-cut or pear-shaped,

These rocks don't loose their shape -

Diamonds are a girl's best friend...

Tiffany's!

Cartier!

Black Starr!

Frost Gorham!

Talk to me Harry Winston,

Tell me all about it!

There may come a time

When a lass needs a lawyer,

But diamonds are a girl's best friend...

There may come a time

When a hard-boiled employer

Thinks you're awful nice,

But get that ice or else no dice!

He's your guy

When stocks are high,

But beware when they start to descend...

It's then that those louses

Go back to their spouses.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend...

I've heard of affairs

That are strictly platonic,

But diamonds are a girl's best friend...

And I think affairs

That you must keep liaisonic

Are better bets

If little pets get big baguettes!

Time rolls on,

And youth is gone,

And you can't straighten up when you bend -

But stiff back

Or stiff knees,

You stand straight at Tiffany's!

Diamonds! Diamonds!

I don't mean rhinestones!

But diamonds are a girl's best friend!"

Everyone stayed silent for a second, and Cedric thought, "Wow. I... had no idea she could sing like that." When the silence stayed, Cedric started clapping, and soon enough, the Great Hall was filled with bigtime applause. The teachers weren't amused, though.

Prof. Umbridge said, "Miss Cross, what do you think you're doing?!"

Diana didn't say anything. There was nothing to say. Prof. Umbridge said, "Well, see me in detention today for disruptive behavior." When Prof. Umbridge turned, Diana sat back down, and she and Cedric both started laughing.


	2. DISNEY!

Diana sat in the detention hall, trying not to curse under her breath as the blood quill bit into her wrist. She looked at what she was writing - 'I will not imitate Marilyn Monroe on top of the tables.'

Diana thought bitterly toward Umbridge, "I was going for Nicole Kidman, you biatch."

As she wrote, Diana thought about her life at Hogwarts - she wasn't popular or anything, but it was a good existence. One of the things she always did was try to compare her friends and other people to characters and songs. For instance, whenever she thought of Cedric, she thought of a Troy Bolton-Jack Dawson hybrid - an open book, but seems like, for no apparent reason, he has secrets. Diana didn't know what the secrets could be though - she knew all his secrets, even that he was addicted to Twinkies and got really cranky if said Twinkies were taken away. One of her other friends, Fred, was a cross between Max from 'Across the Universe' and a Harold Zidler 'Moulin Rouge' type - slightly eccentric, slightly crazy, slightly reckless.

She thought, amused, "I know too many guys." Then she thought about what Cedric had said at dinner - about being obsessed with 'Phantom'. It seemed like a random thing to think about, but Diana wondered if obsessing over plays, but not actually being in them, was slowly beginning to take its toll on her mental state. She dreamed of being in plays all the time - most of the time, she dreamed of playing Satine in 'Moulin Rouge', but sometimes there were other dreams - Christine in 'The Phantom of the Opera', Ulla in 'The Producers', Anna in 'The King and I'... but all of them seemed out of her reach. Out of her league, even.

Umbridge then said, "Detention is dismissed."

The few kids there walked out, and Diana saw, happily, that Cedric was waiting by the door. He said, "Detention wasn't that bad... was it?"

Diana shrugged. "She didn't go Cruciatus on us, at least."

"Let's head back to the common room."

"So... is it just me, or are things... too normal around here?" Cedric asked while he and Diana were sitting on the couch.

Diana grimaced as she wrapped a piece of cloth around her hand and taped it where the blood quill wound was. "I'm gonna have to agree - except for me jumping up on a table."

"You sounded awesome, by the way."

"Aw, thanks - it's a good thrill to get up on the table and start singing. You should try it."

"Yeah, maybe - next time I'm drunk at the Three Broomsticks."

Diana chuckled, then paused. She looked like she had seen a ghost. Cedric said, "Is there something wrong?"

"Something wrong? Cedric, I just pictured you drunkenly singing 'Greased Lightning' - and there's definitely something wrong with that." They both started laughing, then Justin came downstairs from the boys' dorm.

He said, "Hey guys, turn on the radio, quick!"

Cedric reached for the radio and turned it on. The radio announcer was saying, "And, in a shocking turn of events, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is considering becoming partners with the Disney Wizarding Division!"

Diana looked like she was going to choke on her tongue, and Cedric's face went ashen gray. He muttered, "Disney? This has to be a joke - quick, Diana, check the calendar to make sure it's not April Fool's Day or something."

Diana gulped. "Cedric, I think they're serious."

"Definitely explains why things have been too normal..."


	3. Razzle Dazzle

The next day, the Hogwarts students found out the extent of what Disney had done.

At breakfast, as Cedric and Diana sat at the table, they slowly realized that it had been 15 minutes and the food hadn't appeared yet. Other students realized this, and when the commotion grew louder and louder, Umbridge silenced everyone.

Umbridge said, "So, you're probably wondering what the hold-up is-"

George yelled, "WHERE'S THE TOAST?" Everyone started laughing. Umbridge narrowed her eyes and everyone shut their mouths.

Umbridge then said, "As some of you already know, we've become partners with the Disney Wizarding Division -"

Diana stood up and yelled, "SOLD OUT TO IS WHAT YOU MEAN!" Everyone laughed even harder, and all of them shut up again.

"Anyway, as a result, there'll be changes to Hogwarts - the first of which being that the elves bring the food to the table!"

Hermione yelled, "Do you realize how unfair that is to the House Elves?!" No answer.

Just then, the elves came in carrying trays upon trays of food, all of them with sweat dripping down their faces. They were singing loudly, "Be our guest, be our guest, put our service to the test..."

Diana muttered uncomfortably, "Ced, I'm never going to be able to watch 'Beauty and the Beast' ever again without thinking of this..."

Cedric muttered back, "I know what you mean."

Later on that day, in Potions class, Snape scowled and said, "As part of our new Disney-centered curriculum, we'll be learning how to put different types of potions into apples."

George said, "Like poison?"

"No. Disney, being as bubble gum pop sweet as they are, won't allow anything pertaining to death and pain in the curriculum."

"Does that mean that Defense Against the Dark Arts is cancelled?"

"Yes."

"That's just stupid."

Snape sighed. "Students, I don't normally give you advice, but since you'll all probably bomb your N.E.W.T.'s because of the new curriculum, my advice to you is this."

He cleared his throat, and sang,

"_Give 'em the old razzle dazzle_

_Razzle dazzle 'em_

_Show 'em the first rate sorceror you are_

_Long as you keep 'em way off balance_

_How can they spot you've got no talent_

_Razzle dazzle 'em,_

_And they'll never get wise..._"

Just then, the bell rang. He said, "Class is dismissed."


	4. Kryptonite

A week later, around 11 o' clock in the Hufflepuff Common Room, on the couch sat Cedric, Diana, Fred, and Hermione (Fred and Hermione were the only Gryffindors who knew the Hufflepuff password - 'Pop Rocks and Coke').

Hermione said, "I still can't believe what they're forcing those poor elves to do!"

Diana said, "I know! And in Herbology class, we had to learn how to grow pumpkins, then take those pumpkins to Charms and turn them into carriages!"

Cedric said, "That's nothing - the Quidditch team has to sing 'We're All in This Together' before practice!"

Fred said, "If I hear 'Bibbity-Bobbity-Boo' one more time I'll hurl!"

Diana said, "You guys, what are we going to do? We've got to do something, otherwise," and she looked at Cedric, "My mental state is going to go down further then it has already."

Cedric laughed, "And it's gone down pretty far already."

Hermione thought for a minute or two, then said, "Hey, doesn't the Three Broomsticks have a basement?"

Fred said, "Yeah, why?"

"We could ask Madame Rosmerta if we could start one of those poetry and music bar places - a place to get away from the Disney crap-fest over head."

Cedric said, "That's actually not a bad idea."

Diana piped up, "I'll ask Madame Rosmerta tomorrow!"

Hermione held out her hand, smiled, and said, "Freedom."

Fred put his hand on top of hers and said, "Beauty."

Cedric put his hand on top of his and said, "Truth."

Diana put her hand on top of his and said, "Love." She then whispered with a smile, "The Anti-Disney Rebellion is called to order."

Prof. Sprout (the head of the Hufflepuff house) then walked in - she hadn't heard what they were talking about. She said kindly, "Fred, Hermione, you'll have to go back to your dorms now."

Fred and Hermione said in unison, "Yes, Professor."

Cedric then said to Diana, "Might as well go to bed, then. Sweet dreams, darling."

Diana smiled. "Sweet dreams, honey."

They then went to their seperate dorms.

After about an hour, everyone in the guys' dorm was asleep - except Cedric. He hadn't been able to fall asleep, but not because of worrying about Disney or anything like that. It was because of Diana - Cedric couldn't stop having flashbacks about the day they met.

It was when they were both in their 3rd years - Cedric had been putting away Quidditch equipment and there was, apparently, no one else on the Quidditch field then. Then, he heard a scream. He turned around fast, and both a broom and a girl were falling to the ground. He ran fast to where the girl would fall, and the girl fell on top of him.

The girl started stuttering, "Oh my God, I'm sorry, I-I fell off my broom, and-"

Cedric had said, "No problem, don't worry about it."

The girl pushed a lock of brown hair out of her face, pushed up her glasses, and laughed, "Well, thank you, you broke my fall."

"Again, no problem."

"I'm Diana, by the way. Diana Cross."

"I'm Cedric Diggory."

And he had never forgotten since that day that if he hadn't been there, and considering the height from which Diana had fallen, she would've died.

Cedric turned onto his side and repositioned the pillow, but still couldn't sleep. He stared at the ceiling, and Diana's face materialized on it - the long brown hair in a ponytail, the cream-colored skin, the black-rimmed glasses, the curious yet knowing hazel eyes.

He put the pillow over his face and muttered, "Diana, stop messing with my brain, seriously..." But it was to no avail. He then knew what it was - he was falling in love with her.

He looked to make sure everyone else was asleep, then sang quietly to himself,

"I took a walk around the world to

Ease my troubled mind,

I left my body laying somewhere

In the sands of time,

I watched the world float to the dark

Side of the moon,

I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah...

I watched the world float to the

Dark side of the moon,

After all I knew it had to be something

To do with you,

I really don't mind what happens now and then

As long as you'll be my friend at the end...

If I go crazy then will you still

Call me Superman,

If I'm alive and well, will you be

There holding my hand,

I'll keep you by my side with

My superhuman might,

Kryptonite...

You called me strong, you called me weak

But your secrets I will keep,

You took for granted all the times I

Never let you down,

You stumbled in and bumped your head, if

Not for me then you would be dead,

I picked you up and put you back

On solid ground...

If I go crazy then will you still

Call me Superman,

If I'm alive and well, will you be

There holding my hand,

I'll keep you by my side with my

Superhuman might,

Kryptonite..."

Justin muttered from across the room, "Ced, shut up..."

Cedric muttered loudly, "Your mom!"

"Your face!"

"Your mom's face!"

"Your face's mom!"

Ernie then muttered, "BOTH your moms."

Cedric and Justin muttered in unison, "Your face!"


	5. You Made Me Love You

She tried everything to fall asleep that night - nothing seemed to work. Not counting sheep, not staring at the ceiling, not anything. There was something, or someone, haunting every corner of her mind... Cedric.

Diana kept thinking about when they met - she had fallen off a broom that was 100 feet in the air, and she been caught by - well, no, not caught by, more like landed on, Cedric. She was still surprised she hadn't broken his leg or something. She kept thinking about the fact that, most likely, he had saved her life by breaking her fall. And now, 3 years later, even if it seemed her mind should've been haunted by it long ago, a face with gray eyes, dirty blonde hair, and a movie star smile was there.

She then realized, slowly, that she was in love with him. She had actually known it for a long time, but hadn't really believed it. She been in love before Cedric, and none of those little crushes had turned out well - Diana didn't really trust herself to truly fall in love with him this time.

Making sure everyone was asleep first, Diana propped her head up on the pillow, stared out of the window, and sang quietly,

"You made me love you,

I didn't want to do it,

I didn't want to do it,

You made me want you,

And all the time you knew it,

I guess you always knew it...

You made me happy sometimes,

Sometimes you made me glad,

But there were times, dear,

You made me feel so bad...

You made me sigh for,

I didn't wanna tell you,

I didn't want to tell you,

I want some lovin', that's true,

Yes I do, indeed I do, you know I do...

Give me, give me, give me what I cry for,

You know ya got the brand of kisses that I'd die for,

You know you made me love you...

You made me sigh for,

I didn't want to tell you,

I didn't wanna tell you,

I want some lovin', that's true,

Yes I do, indeed I do, you know I do...

Give me, give me, give me what I cry for,

You know ya got the brand of kisses that I'd die for,

You know you made me love you..."

Just then, Hannah said from across the dorm, "Ooo, who are you talking about, Diana?"

Diana narrowed her eyes and said sarcastically, "Your mom. Now shut up."


	6. Be Depressed

The next day, Cedric, Hermione, and Fred waited in one of the booths of the Three Broomsticks for Diana to get back and say whether or not Madame Rosmerta had said yes.

Hermione said, "If Madame Rosmerta did say yes, how would we set the place up without anyone noticing?"

Fred said, "Yeah, and how would we know to let people in?"

Cedric said to Fred, "That's easy. Don't let anyone from the Inquistorial Squad in, but everyone else is welcome."

Fred nodded slowly, then said to Hermione, "We could sound-proof the place."

Then, Diana came back with a huge smile on her face. She sat down and said, "She said it'd be fine and we're welcome to use food and drinks from the Three Broomsticks for it."

Cedric then said, "Now the question is, when should we start setting it up?"

"I think we should wait until everyone else has gone to bed - including the professors - then head here. In fact, I asked Madame Rosmerta about that and she said that she always stays after hours, so the door will be unlocked."

Hermione said, "This is too good to be true!"

Fred raised an eyebrow. "Hermione, don't say that - you'll jinx it."

Diana said, "So, now that we've got this all worked out, there's another to talk about - the Christmas dance, which is coming up in about 3 weeks. Most likely, because of Disney, they're just going to play a bunch of Disney crap - we're going to have to find a way around it."

Fred said, "We could just not go to the dance -"

"No! That's just saying -"

Hermione then said, "Diana, I never thought I'd say this, but I think we're all getting in over our heads with this whole Disney rebellion business."

Diana raised an eyebrow. "You're saying you WANT to listen to the elves singing 'Be Our Guest' for the rest of your Hogwarts existence?" Hermione cringed. "That's what I thought."

This brings us to about a week later. The Hogsmeade Nine Muses Bar was almost finished, and Diana and Cedric were walking into the Gryffindor Common Room (the password for which was 'Diet Coke and Mentos'). When they walked in, Fred was puking into a bucket, mumbling, "No more! No more!"

Cedric said, "Fred, what is it?"

Hermione, who was sitting on the couch, shook her head sadly and said, "He heard 'Bibbity-Boppity-Boo' again."

"Ohhhh... that sucks."

Diana then said, "So, the bar's almost finished... how should we let people know about it?"

Fred, who had finished puking, said, "George and I could tell our friends about it - they wouldn't tell Umbridge if their life depended on it."

Hermione said, "I'll tell Harry, Ron, and Neville."

Cedric shrugged. "Only person I trust to tell is Luna."

Diana said, "I'll tell Ginny and Parvarti."

There was a bit of silence, then Cedric sang with a smile on his face,

"Be depressed, be depressed,

'Cause Walt Disney is the best,

Now the biggest broadway musical's

A cartoon from the West,

Children say, 'It's a feast

Seeing 'Beauty and the Beast!',

Now it turns the great white way

Into a drama drawn with crayon,

Guys who sing, dolls who dance,

Mom auditions for the chance

To play dinnerware that seems to be possessed,

And Broadway, while you're fading,

We will be invading -

Be depressed, oui, depressed, be depressed..."

Fred sang, "I'm a beast, I'm a troll,

But at least I've got a role,

Disney offered me a bonus,

So I had to sell my soul,

I'm a wreck in this dreck, ah, but heck, at least I get a check..."

Cedric sang, "All in all, it's quite delicious,

Getting paid to dance with dishes,

We have songs, we have plot,

Everything most shows have not,

It's no wonder Vincent Camby is impressed..."

Both Fred and Cedric sang, "But Broadway, now you're fated

To be animated, you're so stressed, I suggest

You recoup and take a rest,

Be depressed, be depressed, be depressed!"

Diana sang, "What a trip, what a trap,

Dressing up inside this crap,

When I'm stuck inside a teapot

Everybody gives me flap,

How I dread and turn red

Acting with a severed head,

Little Chip is so repulsive,

Kiddies scream and get convulsive,

Disney bribed, Disney fought,

The New Amsterdam they bought,

For that deal, they should be subject to arrest!"

Cedric sang, "But Broadway, you will dive

Into a Disney buy-in,

You're depressed,

You need rest, maybe Prozac, I suggest..."

Both Cedric and Diana sang, "Be depressed, be depressed,

Broadway now, you're Disney's guest,

Watch out, Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck

Will put you to the test!

If we laugh, if we gloat,

It's 'cause theatre's so remote,

And now Stephen Sondheim's teacher

Is an animated feature!"

Cedric, Diana, and Fred all sang, "Block by block,

Score by score,

We'll acquire more and more,

We'll line 42nd Street from east to west!

Broadway, it's too bad, now you're another ad,

So be depressed, be depressed,

'Cause now we're the best!"

The three of them all started laughing, and Cedric said, "Comedy, thy name is 'Forbidden Broadway'."

Hermione crossed her arms and said, "I refuse to participate in something even remotely close to 'Be Our Guest'."

Fred said, "But it's a parody talking about much Disney has commercialized Broadway - I would think that you would appreciate that, Hermione."

"Whatever - I still haven't gotten over the house elves."


	7. Don't Call Him CDawg

"You told who about the bar?!" Diana nearly yelled across the Hufflepuff table.

"Uh, I told Justin," Cedric said, wondering why Diana was flipping out about this.

"How much Firewhiskey have you been drinking lately? If you tell him something that is meant to be between just a few people, he'll tell everyone!"

"Look, I told him not to tell anybody, and he's one of my good friends -"

"Telling someone not to tell something doesn't stop them from telling that something to other someones!"

"Huh?"

"What I'm saying is this - Cedric Robert Diggory, this could be the stupidest thing you've ever done."

Cedric paused before saying what he was about to say. "Just don't call me stupid."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not. I thought it was logical."

"Logical? Good God, you don't know the meaning of logical, do you!"

"Diana, stop flipping out about this!"

"Why should I?!"

"Because if you don't, everyone at this table is going to hear you and then we'll all be up the creek without a paddle."

Diana lowered her voice and muttered, "Look, you think a lot of things, and you think that because of that, you're an intellectual. Well, let me clear up a couple things for ya, C-Dawg - making jokes about Lupin's 'time of the month' is not funny."

"I never said that, and what did you just -"

"Yeah, you did. Can I finish?" Cedric didn't say anything. "Okay, then - I will. 42 is not the answer to all question on the N.E.W.T.'s. There's not a fifth Hogwarts house, and you're not the founder or its first resident. Putting Muggle fairy tales in the school library is NEVER a good idea. The Accio charm is never referred to as 'The Force'. Professor Flitwick's first name isn't Yoda. Calling the Ghostbusters on this school isn't a good idea, either -"

"OKAY, I get the point - I was really stupid as a first year. You're not exactly perfect when it comes to logic, either, Di."

"What do you mean?"

"You need to be cleared up on a couple things too, such as..." Cedric thought for a moment. "Copies of 'Beetlejuice' and Disney Halloween specials should never be referred to as 'Auror Training Tapes'. Seamus Finnigan has never said, 'They're after me Lucky Charms'. You're not supposed to bring a Magic 8 ball to Divination. The hedge maze that was in the Triwizards should never be referred to as 'The Shrubbery of Doom'. And my nickname is not now, nor has it ever been, C-Dawg."

Diana started laughing, then when she saw that Cedric was giving her the Stare-down of Death, she shut up fast. "Alright, I apologize. But still, telling Justin wasn't the smartest idea."

"We're just going to have to trust him now, though. And you're going to have to trust me on that being a good decision."

Diana stared at him for a second, then said, "Okay, okay... I trust you."

"Thank you."


	8. Of Mike Myers and Kisses

Cedric, Diana, Hermione, and Fred sat at one of the tables in the Hogsmeade Nine Muses Bar, watching Neville sing some showtune. There were only a couple other kids there, but the place was still packed - and Justin didn't actually tell anyone else, much to Diana's relief.

After Neville was done, Luna walked onstage and said, "Next up, Diana Cross!"

The other 3 at the table were all thinking variations of 'What?', and Diana simply smiled and went onstage. Everyone snapped their fingers, and Cedric and Fred whistled.

Diana said, "Hit it!" The music for 'Come Clean' began.

She sang,

"Let's go back,

Back to the beginning,

Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned...

'Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect,

Trying to fit a square into a circle

Was no life,

I defy...

Let the rain fall down

And wake my dreams,

Let it wash away

My sanity,

'Cause I wanna feel the thunder,

I wanna scream,

Let the rain fall down,

I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean...

I'm shedding,

Shedding every color,

Trying to find a pigment of truth

Beneath my skin...

'Cause different

Doesn't feel so different,

And going out is better

Then always staying in,

Feel the wind...

Let the rain fall down

And wake my dreams,

Let it wash away

My sanity,

'Cause I wanna feel the thunder,

I wanna scream,

Let the rain fall down,

I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean...

I'm coming clean,

Let the rain fall,

Let the rain fall,

I'm coming...

Let the rain fall down

And wake my dreams,

Let it wash away

My sanity,

'Cause I wanna feel the thunder,

I wanna scream,

Let the rain fall down,

I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean...

Let the rain fall down

And wake my dreams,

Let it wash away

My sanity,

'Cause I wanna feel the thunder,

I wanna scream,

Let the rain fall down,

I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean...

Let's go back,

Back to the beginning..."

When that was done, there was a mix of applause and fingers snapping, and Diana simply curtsied and went back to her seat, smiling.

Just then, Luna said, "And next up, Cedric Diggory!"

Cedric said to the three of them with a smile, "I've got my own little surprise."

He walked up to the stage and slow jazz music started playing in the background.

He said,

"Woman,

Woah-man,

Woooah-man!

She was a thief,

You gotta belief,

She stole my heart and my cat!

Judy, Betty,

Josie and those hot Pussycats,

They make me horny

Saturday Morny,

Girls of cartoon-ins

Will leave me in ruins,

I want to be Betty's Barney...

Hey Jane, get me off this crazy thing...

Called love."

Everyone started laughing and snapping their fingers, and Cedric looked to see if Diana was laughing - her favorite movie was 'So I Married An Axe Murderer' and the 'Woah-man' scene was her favorite. She was laughing her ass off. He then said into the microphone, "Thank you, Hogwarts," and went back to his seat.

Diana laughed, "Oh my God, I can't believe you actually..."

Cedric shrugged and said, "Mike Myers is my idol, what can I say?"

Fred said, "Nicely done, Ced - I don't know if I could've done that without laughing like you just did."

Hermione said, "Very nice..."

Fred then turned to Hermione and said in a Scottish accent, "Well, it's a well-known fact, Hermione, that there's a secret society of the 5 wealthiest people in Wizarding England, known as the Pentavirate, who control everything, including the newspapers, who meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Wales known as the Malfoy Estate."

Hermione said through her laughter, "So who's in this Pentavirate?"

"Rita Skeeter, Cornelius Fudge, the Malfoys, the Riddles, AND Bertie Botts before he started pushing daisies. Oh, I hated Botts with his wee beady eyes and that smug look on his face, "Oh, you're gonna buy my jelly beans, oh-oh-oh!"

Cedric said, "Fred, how could you hate Bertie Botts?"

"'Cause he puts an addictive chemical in his jelly beans that makes ya crave it fort-nightly, smart-arse!"

"Okay then. Coo-coo!"

All four of them started laughing. A little while later, Fred and Hermione went up to sing 'At the Beginning' (on a dare, of course), leaving Cedric and Diana at the table.

Diana said, "I think this place has been Hermione's best idea yet."

"I'm going to have to agree." Cedric then raised his water glass and said, "To good ideas."

Diana raised her glass and said, "To good friends." They both took drank at the same time.

There was silence for a second, just them looking into each other's eyes, then, hesitatingly at first and right after Fred had sung the line, 'Unexpected what you did to my heart', Cedric leaned in to kiss her. Diana didn't stop him.

Hermione, who was in the middle of singing a line, went bug-eyed when she saw that Cedric and Diana were kissing back at the table, but kept singing, and Fred mouthed the words, "Holy shit." They both didn't stop singing, though.

When the kiss was over, Diana started to say something, but the words were lost. Cedric then whispered, "Diana, I've got to say... I've dreamed about kissing you before, and that was better then anything I've ever dreamed."

"I'm going to have to agree," Diana said with a smile on her face. "I love you."

"I love you, too, and I've been meaning to ask for a while... will you be my girlfriend?"

"Of course." And with that, Cedric kissed her again.


	9. The Christmas Dance

This brings us to the Christmas dance, on the 15th of December - not quite as elegant as the Yule Ball, but still formal and one of the more recent Hogsmeade social events.

Hermione was going with Ron, Fred was going with his girlfriend (Angelina), and Cedric and Diana were going together. Diana was still freaking out slightly - she had gone to the Christmas dance with Cedric before, but only as friends. Never as an actual date.

It was 5 o' clock, about a half hour before the start of the dance, and Diana was just finishing getting ready. She looked in the mirror - she was wearing an knee-length green dress with no sleeves sleeves, a white cardigan that she would probably put on the back of a chair once she was inside the dance hall, black flat shoes, her hair in a bun, her glasses, and diamond teardrop earrings. When she finally decided she was ready, she went downstairs, where Cedric was waiting. He was wearing black pants, a long-sleeved dark blue shirt, shiny black shoes, and one of those Justin Timberlake-type hats.

Diana laughed, "Since when did you start wearing hats to dances?"

"Ever since girls started thinking that Justin Timberlake wearing one was sexy." He held Diana's hand. "You look gorgeous, darling."

"So do you, honey. So, should we get going?"

"Sure - wait, let me get my coat." Cedric went upstairs for a second, then came back down wearing a black trench coat, which made Diana start laughing. "What's so funny?"

"You look like an undercover Auror trying to blend in."

"Well, who said I wasn't? Let's go."

When they got outside and started walking to Hogsmeade, Diana was regretting not wearing pantyhose or something - snow was getting in her shoes and her legs were freezing. Cedric laughed, "Cold, little trooper?"

"What do you think?"

"Should've worn something warmer then that little cardigan."

"You're telling me this now?"

He chuckled, then said, "It's going to be a little while before we get to Hogsmeade - wanna play 20 Questions?"

"Why not? You go first."

"Okay, I'm thinking of a person."

"Is it a girl?"

"Yes."

"Is she blonde?"

"Yes."

"Nicole Kidman?"

"Damn, you're good at this."

"I'm not good at it - I simply know that even though you and I are boyfriend-girlfriend, if Nicole Kidman started making out with you, you wouldn't object."

"You're a smart girl."

"And I hope you know that if Robert Pattinson started making out with ME, I wouldn't object."

"That I can understand - he is a very handsome guy."

"And of course, you think there's not a chance in hell of him even checking me out, because you think he's gay."

"No comment," Cedric said, laughing.

They kept talking for a little while, then they finally got to the dance hall. It was already almost completely packed, and the DJ had already started DJing - right now, the song playing was, as they all feared it might be, 'It's a Small World After All'.

Diana muttered, "Great. They are playing a Disney crap-fest."

Cedric said, "Let's just sit this one out and hope they play something at least halfway decent."

They sat the song out, and the next song they played was 'Macarena', which they only played because the song was on 'Disney Jams' once or twice. Everyone in the dance hall went to the middle of the dance floor and started doing a macarena line dance. A couple of guys in the dance hall (most Gryffindors included) had already gotten drunk courtesy of Fred and George pouring a Firewhiskey-vodka mixture into the complimentary punch, which no one knew, so those guys were drunkenly doing the macarena. In fact, the only reason ANYONE was doing the macarena was because they wanted to dance to at least one song that wasn't obviously Disney-related.

And most of the Hufflepuffs (Diana, Cedric, and most of the Quidditch team included) sang the main lyrics, if only to get some laughs out of some of the other dancers.

After the song was done, Diana went to talk to Hermione and Parvarti for a little while, and Cedric went to talk to Justin.

Cedric said, "Hey, dude - thanks for not telling anyone else about You-Know-What."

"No problem, Ced." Justin glanced at Diana. "I never thought I'd be saying this, and I hope you don't mind me saying it, Diana being your girlfriend and all, but that girl does the sexiest macarena I've seen in a while."

"I don't mind you saying it - in fact, I can only agree." Cedric looked to make sure Diana wasn't listening, then said, "And if you think she looks hot doing the macarena, just wait till you see her doing the cha cha slide." He realized that if Diana had heard, she'd probably kick his ass - but this was Justin he was talking to.

So, for the most part, the DJ (since he could only play Disney movie songs and stuff that had been on Radio Disney) played group dances and more recent music. It actually wasn't that much of obvious Disney crap - just recent Maroon 5 and Green Day crap. And they did wind up playing 'Cha Cha Slide Part 2' - and Justin had to say that Cedric was right about how Diana looked dancing to it.

And then, after much prodding from some of the girls, the DJ decided to play 'Hairspray' songs since Zac Efron was in it. The first song from that that they played was 'It Takes Two', and when that started playing, Cedric said to Diana, "Might as well slow-dance to one song," with a smile.

They walked to the dance floor and started slow-dancing, and Cedric sang the lyrics softly in Diana's ear.

_They say it's a man's world,_

_Well, that cannot be denied,_

_But what good's a man's world_

_Without a woman by his side?_

_And so I will wait_

_Until that moment you decide..._

_That I'm your man_

_And you're my girl,_

_That I'm the sea_

_And you're the pearl,_

_It takes two, baby,_

_It takes two..._

_A king ain't a king_

_Without the power behind the throne,_

_A prince is a pauper, babe,_

_Without a chick to call his own,_

_So please, darling, choose me,_

_I don't wanna rule alone,_

_Tell me_

_I'm your king_

_And you're my queen,_

_That no one else_

_Can come between,_

_It takes two, baby,_

_It takes two..._

_Don't you know_

_Lancelot had Guinevere,_

_Mrs. Claus has old St. Nick,_

_Romeo had Juliet,_

_And Liz, well, she has her Dick,_

_They say it takes two to tango,_

_Well, that tango's child's play,_

_So take me to the dance floor_

_And we'll twist the night away..._

_Just like Frankie Avalon_

_Had his favorite Mouseketeer,_

_I dream of a lover, babe,_

_To say the things I long to hear,_

_So come closer baby_

_And whisper in my ear..._

_Tell me you're my girl_

_And I'm your boy,_

_That you're my pride_

_And I'm your joy,_

_That I'm the sand_

_And you're the tide,_

_And I'll be the groom_

_If you'll be my bride,_

_It takes two, baby,_

_It takes two,_

_It takes two, baby,_

_It takes two... _

When the song was over, he kissed her gently on the lips, and then Diana saw out of the corner of her eye, shocked, that her mother was watching and listening by the doorway.

She pulled back from the kiss, and Cedric said, concerned, "What's the matter?"

"My mom's standing by watching," she said through gritted teeth. "Since when did she chaperone dances?"

"What's your mom's name, again?"

"Jean."

"Okay... let's go talk to her. If you want to, of course."

"Alright." So, Cedric and Diana walked over to Jean.

Jean said, "Nice tongue action there, Diana." She looked at Cedric. "So you must be Cedric - I'm Diana's mother, Jean. Diana's been telling me all about you."

"Has she, now?" Cedric said, smiling. Diana blushed.

"Mmm-hmm. So, what have you two been doing lately?"

"Oh, you know, just hanging out around Hogsmeade, doing homework together, that sort of thing."

"So it's strictly a PG relationship?"

"Um..." Cedric said laughing. "Yeah. That's a phrase I've never heard..."

Diana then said, "Mom, since when did you start chaperoning?"

"Since now."

Cedric then said, "You two can talk amongst yourselves - I'm going to get some punch." He left to go to the refreshment table - one more victim for the punch ala Weasley Spike.

Jean then said, "You certainly picked a good guy - I heard him singing to you. In fact, I've been watching you two since the start of the dance, and listening -"

"God, eavesdropper, much?" Diana said jokingly.

"He seems like a really nice guy, sweetie - he's pretty cute, too."

"Yeah... kind of looks like Robert Pattinson, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I see a resemblence." Jean then hugged Diana, and when she pulled back, there were tears in her eyes.

Diana laughed, "Mom, are you crying?"

"Just because my little girl's got a boyfriend - you're growing up. So, what do you talk about?"

"Anything and everything. Mostly movies and books and things like that, and about school and other friends." Diana glanced at Cedric, then looked at her mother. "I love him so much, and the best part is, unlike most guys I've liked, he actually loves me back. My God, my life couldn't possibly get more perfect."

"Well, it could - Hogwarts could stop this whole Disney business."

"True... why do you think Umbridge made the deal?"

"Because she's a few Sickles short of a Galleon, of course."

Diana started laughing, then Cedric came back with a paper cup full of punch, staring it with a slightly questioning look. He said, "Diana, I think there's something wrong with the punch... what do you think?"

"Let me see..." Diana took a sip of the punch and grimaced - there was a bitter aftertaste to it. "Yeah, that does taste weird."

Jean then said, "Let me see." Diana handed her the punch. Jean took one sip, and raised an eyebrow. "Someone spiked it. Tastes like Firewhiskey and vodka."

"Firewhiskey and vodka..." Cedric repeated. That seemed familiar, and then he realized that the Weasley twins had spiked the punch at the start-of-year feast last year with that. "Fred and George!"

Jean went to find the twins, and Diana laughed, "When are Fred and George going to learn that spiking the punch is never a good idea?"

"Who knows?" Cedric looked at his watch and said, "It's 9 o' clock - do you want to go the Three Broomsticks, by any chance?"

"Sure, just let me tell my mom." Diana went and told her mom where they were going, and Jean said, "Alright, skidaddle."


	10. Greased Lightning, Dorks, YOUR MOM!

Fast forward to about an hour later. Most of Hogwarts's well-known students (the Golden Trio, the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, Cho and her posse, Cedric and Diana, the Twins, and the Brains) were there, making fools of themselves and singing along with the jukebox.

At one point, Harry went to the jukebox, put in a quarter, and a half-minute later, 'Greased Lightning' was playing. He jumped up on one of the unoccupied tables and started singing,

"Why, this car is automatic,

It's systematic,

It's hydromatic,

Why, it's greased lightning!

We'll get some overhead lifters and some four barrel quads, oh yeah..."

Cedric, Justin, Ernie, Neville, Ron, and Draco jumped up on the table and sang, "Keep talking, whoa, keep talking!"

Harry sang, "A fuel injection cutoff and chrome plated rods, oh yeah..."

The other guys sang, "I'll get the money, I'll kill to get the money!"

Harry sang, "With a four speed on the floor, they'll be waiting at the door,

You know that ain't shit, we'll be getting lots of tit

In greased lightning..."

They all sang, "Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go,

Go, greased lightning, you're burning up the quarter mile,

Greased lightning, go, grease lightning,

Go, greased lightning, you're coasting through the heat lap trial,

Greased lightning, go, greased lightning,

You are supreme, the chicks'll cream for greased lightning,

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!"

Harry sang, "Purple french tail lights and thirty inch fins, oh yeah,

A Palomino dashboard and duel muffler twins, oh yeah,

With new pistons, plugs, and shocks, I can get off my rocks,

You know that I ain't bragging, she's a real pussy wagon,

Greased lightning..."

They all sang (and keep in mind they were all doing retarded dance moves, too), "Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go,

Go, greased lightning, you're burning up the quarter mile,

Greased lightning, go, grease lightning,

Go, greased lighting, you're coasting through the heat lap trial,

Greased lightning, go, greased lightning,

You are supreme, the chicks'll cream for greased lightning,

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!"

During the instrumental, the guys all tried to imitate John Travolta, but the only ones that really succeeded there were Harry and Cedric.

They all sang, "Go, greased lightning, you're burning up the quarter mile,

Greased lightning, go, greased lightning,

Go, greased lightning, you're coasting through the heat lap trial,

Greased lightning, go, greased lightning,

You are supreme, the chicks'll cream for greased lightning,

Lightning, lightning, lightning,

Lightning, lightning, lightning,

Lightning!"

When the song was done, the girls (especially Diana, Hermione, and Ginny) all whistled and applauded - the other guys in the bar who weren't singing weren't that amused.

When Cedric came back to the table where he and Diana were sitting, she said, "Dang - you've seen 'Grease' way too many times."

"Why do you say that?"

"You and Harry were the only ones who had the John Travolta dance solo down exactly as it was supposed to be."

Cedric took a gulp of water, gave Diana what most people would call 'The Sexy Eye', and said, "Just means that we know how to make the girls go insane with our smooth dance moves."

Just then, Neville, Hermione, and other random brainiacs got up on the table and started singing,

"We're the Dorks of the Hog's Head table,

We quiz when ere we're able,

We do routines and practice tests

With knowledge impeccable,

We dine well here at the Hog's Head,

We eat ham and jam and wheat bread!

We're Dorks of the Hog's Head table,

Our brains are formidable,

But many times, we're given tests

That are quite untestable -

We're knowledge-mad at the Hog's Head,

We test without studying

a looooooot,

In class, we're tough and able,

Quite indefatigable,

Between our tests we're on 'FunTrivia',

And we sit at this table,

It's a busy life at the Hog's Head,

I have record books that I read..."

Everyone started laughing and the Brainiacs all bowed and sat back down.

Cedric then said, "So, Diana - what does your mom think of me?"

"She thinks you're an excellent catch."

"Good - your mom is one of the people whose friendship I'd like to have."

She smile and took a sip of green tea. "So, what are you doing for Christmas break?"

"Staying with my parents. And you?"

"I'll be staying with my mom - I always spend Christmas Eve at my dad's house and Christmas Day at my mom's house."

Cedric nodded slowly and said, "I'll definitely miss you over the holidays, but let's not think about it now." Neither of them said anything for a moment, then Cedric said, "I love you."

"I love you, too." Diana didn't say anything else for a moment, then said, "You know, you've been saying that you love me a lot lately."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing, just that... I like that you say it. That way, I can be really sure."

"Well, here's another way you can be really sure." Cedric kissed her, but they were interrupted by Fred and George saying, in unison, "Get a room!"

Diana and Cedric both said at the same time, "Your mom!"

Fred and George said at the same time, "Your faces!"

"Your mom's face!"

"Your faces' moms!"


	11. The Phantom Locket

Two days later, Diana was at her mom's house in London for Christmas break, and she already missed Cedric like crazy. She made sure she didn't look sad, though - the last thing she wanted was to look sad around her mom, her dad, and her little sister at Christmas time. Hiding it from her mom was futile, though.

Diana lay on her bed in her room on Christmas Eve after coming back from her dad's house, staring at a picture on her nightstand of her and Cedric when they were 4th years - the picture was of them waiting by the sign on Platform 9 3/4, waiting for the Hogwarts Express to come in. Her mom had taken the picture when neither of them was looking, and as it moved, the two of them were laughing and talking.

Just then, Diana's mom walked into the room. Diana quickly put the picture back on the nightstand, but Jean noticed.

Jean said, "You miss him, don't you, sweetie?" Diana noticed that she was holding something behind her back.

"Yeah... God, why does he have to live in Wales?"

"Well, you got some mail, if that cheers you up." Jean then handed her a parchment envelope with a small brown cardboard box attached.

Jean looked at the envelope - there was no return address, but she knew that parchment was what all Hogwarts students used to write letters, even at home, because it was always bought in bulk.

She opened the envelope immediately. The letter inside said,

Dear Diana,

Hey there, Diana,

What's it like in London Town?

I'm a thousand miles away, but girl,

Tonight, I'm thinking of you, yes, I am,

Night skies can't shine as bright as you, I swear it's true...

How's your Christmas break? Your little sister's not being too annoying, is she? I miss you

so much - I can't wait to see you again. I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you

and I got your letter - I promise not to open the box until Christmas morning! So, you're going to

have to promise the same thing with the box I'm sending you, but I'll give you a hint about what's in

it. I saw it and thought, "This just screams Diana," and you'll definitely like it. It's an object, you can't

bounce it, and you probably shouldn't try to flush it down the toilet or anything.

Tell your mom I said hi, and tell your sister not to go insane on the Kittenwars. I love you,

sweetheart.

Love,

Cedric

Jean took one look at Diana's huge smile and said, "It's from Cedric, isn't it?"

"He says hi, by the way."

On Christmas morning, the first thing Diana opened was the box - inside was a silver locket shaped like the 'Phantom' half-mask, along with a note that said,

"To the future Christine Daae

From your most adoring fan, Cedric"

Later on that day, Diana put a picture of Cedric on one side of the locket, and after that day, she was never seen without the locket around her neck.


	12. We Are the Champions

When Christmas break was over and Diana got on the Hogwarts Express to go back, she sat in one of the compartments by herself, holding the locket and looking at Cedric's picture - since it hadn't been taken with a Muggle camera, the picture kept winking and smiling.

Suddenly, she heard the compartment door slide open. She turned away from the window and looked at who was in the doorway - it was Cedric, smiling with gray eyes sparkling.

He said, "So, do you like the locket?" 

"Cedric, it's so beautiful - thank you!"

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Did you like the Weird Sisters CD?"

"Of course - I listened to it for the rest of Christmas break." He sat down next to her and kissed her. "I missed you, Diana."

"I missed you, too."

"How are your parents?"

"Let's see... my mom wants to meet you and so does my dad."

"Maybe I could visit."

Just then, the train rolled into Hogsmeade Station. Cedric and Diana got off the train together and they were immediately greeted by Hermione and Fred, who were practically jumping for joy.

Fred and Hermione yelled at the same time, "HOGWARTS CANCELLED THE DEAL! NO MORE DISNEY!"

Cedric said, "Are you serious?"

"Of course!"

They all started cheering, and as they walked into the Great Hall, they started singing,

"I've paid my dues

Time after time,

I've done my sentence,

But committed no crime,

And bad mistakes -

I've made a few,

I've had my share of sand kicked in my face,

But I've come through...

We are the champions, my friends

And we'll keep on fighting till the end

We are the champions,

We are the champions,

No time for losers,

'Cause we are the champions of the world...

I've taken my bows,

And my curtain calls,

You brought me fame and fortune and everything that goes with it -

I thank you all...

But it's been no bed of roses,

No pleasure cruise,

I consider it a challenge before the whole human race,

And I ain't gonna lose...

We are the champions, my friends,

And we'll keep on fighting till the end,

We are the champions,

We are the champions,

No time for losers,

'Cause we are the champions of the world..."

THE END


End file.
